Glee

Post 73- Character Actors…ASSEMBLE!

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Over the past few years a lot of buzz has been building over the heavily anticipated Joss Whedon-directed Avengers movie. The film stars all of the recent movie-incarnation Marvel superheroes: Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Captain America (Chris Evans), Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), and the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo). It also stars S.H.I.E.L.D agents Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders). Yes. Cobie Smulders.

The trend in super-hero movies these days is to cast well respected character actors (actors who play exceedingly eccentric or unusual characters) as the major villain. In Iron Man it was Jeff Bridges, in The Incredible Hulk it was William Hurt and Tim Roth, in the new Spider-Man it’s Rhys Ifans and brilliant In Treatment actor Irfan Khan, in Green Lantern it’s Peter Sarsgaard, in Batman Begins it was Liam Neeson. The better the villain, the better the hero.

Since The Avengers are arguably (no disrespect to the Justice League) the ultimate superhero team, the villains they fight must be the ultimate villains. After all, one  Avengers mantra is that they “fight the foes no single superhero can withstand.” I’m not sure who the Avengers are fighting in this new film. I believe it has not been released yet. However, the original comics have story lines featuring Thor’s Loki using the Hulk as a weapon, as well as a group known as the Masters of Evil. Which brings me to my main point. Which amazing character actors out there (who haven’t already portrayed big villains—leaving out Steve Buscemi, Gary Oldman, John Malkovich, etc.) would be believable as formidable opponents to Robert Downey Jr. and his team? Which actors are so badass and, following the recent trend, character-y, that you would believe that they could only be defeated by a team of the greatest superheroes alive? Who are the Avengers of character actors? Here are my picks:

Timothy Spall– What a weird looking guy. He has the market on menacing, mousy underlings (see: Harry Potter, Enchanted, Sweeney Todd) but has the chops to give you Winston Churchill (The Kings Speech), and Rosencrantz (Hamlet). I could see him as the rotund Puff Adder.

The Soup Nazi– To be honest, I didn’t even bother looking up his name, because that’s who he is. He’s the Soup Nazi. Forever and ever. He even appeared in an episode of Scrubs as The Soup Nazi. Can you name me another actor who appeared on one episode of a sitcom and turned it into a career? (Robin Williams starring as Mork on Happy Days doesn’t count.) Who does he play? Nazi scientist Baron Zemo, of course!

Stephen Toblowsky– This guy has done it all. Most recently appearing as former Glee coach/drug dealer Sandy Ryerson on Glee, he has made a career of playing irritating business types (see: Groundhog’s Day) and lite comic villains (see: Garfield). He would make an excellent super villain and would annoy the hell out of Captain America with his pompous attitude. Let him be evil genius, Immortus.

Wallace Shawn– This guy deserves the chance to strut his stuff on a mammoth scale. He excels at playing the nebishy, brainy nerds (see: Clueless, The Princess Bride.) But boy does he do that well. Watching him torture his perfect foil, Thor, using logic games, and just watching him divulge his evil plans to a held-captive Iron Man, would be delectable. Definitely Egghead.

Matt Walsh– Let’s get a little comedy into this Avengers movie! In the past decade, Upright Citizen’s Brigade founding member Matt Walsh has “secretly” appeared in every comedy film/television show released in the past 10 years, playing the loud, obnoxious oddball. (See: The Hangover, Children’s Hospital, I Love You, Man, Step Brothers). Obviously, he’d play the juggling Oddball.

Christopher Lloyd– Hollywood loves a comeback, and it’s about time that Christopher Lloyd return to his rightful place as the go-to eccentric. Let him give younger audiences a taste of what he showed us in Who Framed Roger Rabbit and The Pagemaster. He would rock the socks off as a super villain bent on destroying the world and driving Jeremy Renner insane. Let him play the dichotomously brilliant and destructive Mr. Hyde.

Conchata Farrell– Conchata is the take no guff, sarcastic, confident big ol lady best known for her roles in Two and a Half Men, Mr. Deeds and Erin Brockovich. A powerful woman who won’t take Robert Downey Jr’s sass or succumb to Chris Evans’ charm, she’ll play The Executioner.

Mickey Jones– He’s the big biker guy you’ve seen in everything from Total Recall to Lizzie McGuire. The man has more than paid his dues to the biz and is ready for more than just showing up in a bar fight. He can pull off The Wrecker.

Tommy “Tiny” Lister– With his one line as the huge prisoner on the boat in The Dark Knight (“Give it to me, and I’ll do what ya’ll shoulda did ten minutes ago.”) I knew that I wanted to see more of this guy. So let’s see more of him! Make him Thunderball!

Maggie Wheeler– Better known as the most annoying girlfriend ever—Janice from Friends—her siren call gives her more than enough credibility to destroy Scarlett Johansson and keep even the Hulk at bay. She’s definitely Man-Killer!

Until Tomorrow–

Post 65- Jackie Chan did what?!

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I just watched Mars Attacks for the first time and although I had not heard good things about it, I was entirely disappointed given the cast. Every name that came up in the opening credits was a superstar—Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Benning, Pierce Brosnan, Michael J. Fox, Sarah Jessica Parker,  Danny DeVito, Martin Short, Tom friggin Jones (as in “What’s New Pussycat?”), football legend Jim Brown, and Natalie Portman!

But for me, the biggest shock of the movie was seeing Jack Black play a bit part as a trigger happy, military idiot—basically his character within themovie” Tropic Thunder. It’s always fun to see current movie stars in older movies before they were famous. Especially if their part is exceedingly tiny or differs from the character type is different than what usually play.

Here are some of my favorite “Before They Were Stars” highlights:

Jon Hamm as TV Repair Guy in The Sarah Silverman Program. I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post but it makes my list not only because in the short scene Sarah Silverman rejects an offer to kiss Mr. Hamm and as we all know now, that that is something one would never ever think of doing, but also because in the scene he is wearing a patch on his shirt that says ‘Eating all the pussy since ’93’. Even way back in 2007 Jon Hamm was hilarious.

Adrien Brody and Matthew McConaughey in Angels in the Outfield. That’s a double whammy. I’ve also mentioned this fact before but it’s worth noting again that Tony Danza was the star of that movie.

Scarlett Johansson as Molly Pruit in Home Alone 3. In this movie the perennial Sexiest Woman Alive candidate played the lead’s older nagging sister. This makes my list because from watching the movie it is almost impossible to suspect that she was destined to become Woody Allen’s muse and frequent Maxim cover girl and because for some reason Roger Ebert gave this movie three out of four stars and called it “fresh, very funny, and better than the first two”. Wow.

Gwenyth Paltrow in Hook. This makes the list because pretty much all the future Oscar winner and Glee guest star says in this movie is, “PETER!” Everybody starts somewhere.

Val Kilmer as Nick Rivers in Top Secret. I guess this doesn’t count because Val was the star of this movie, but the role he plays is so different from any future role. This Zucker Brothers film introduced the world to Val Kilmer as a sexy, charismatic, captivating, hilarious actor who was capable of sincerely delivering even the most ridiculous dialogue such as, Listen to me Hillary. I’m not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.” It’s a damn shame that Kilmer has shied away from comedies for the most part. I say for the most part because he was great in Real Genius, MacGruber, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, and that one episode of Entourage where he played the pot dealing Sherpa.

Jackie Chan in All in the Family. Not to be confused with the television program, this All in the Family was a Hong Kong porno he made in 1975. Jaden, let Jackie teach you karate, but that’s it!

Amy Adams in Cruel Intentions 2. This makes the list because Ms. Adams is a twice Oscar nominated wholesome actress respected for her smart career choices (Leap Year not withstanding) and here she is in this piece of straight to DVD garbage. It also makes the list because she inhabited the sexy, devilish, conniving Sarah Michelle Geller role which I suppose shows her range, because I cannot use any of those adjectives to describe her characters in Julie and Julia and Enchanted.

Christian Bale in Newsies. This one is no secret, but it’s fun to see Batman/Dicky/Patrick Bateman/John Connor sing and dance for the High School Musical director about selling papers for a quarta’ and seizing the day.

Jennifer Lawrence in Winter’s Bone. This Oscar nominee and future X-Men: First Class star was on TBS’ The Bill Engvall Show. ‘Nuff said.

Until Tomorrow–



Day 62-I hope that Method Man teaches method acting to meth addicts

Awards season is upon us! Horray? I’m not sure how to react these days during the frenzy that is Awards season. I like movies and I like competition, so one would think that I would enjoy this special time of year. But in fact, recently it has been nothing but a huge bore to me. It’s fun to debate the merits of one movie and/or performance versus another but that is just one small benefit to enduring a season of awarding what is increasingly becoming the same people/movies over and over again. Every year there are clear frontrunners, (these past few years more than ever), who pretty much win every award (Screen Actors Guild, Directors Guild, Golden Globes, National Council of the Arts of Movies and Cinema and Stuff etc.) up to the Oscars with few surprises. This year most “pundits” will tell you the FINAL FOUR will most likely going to be Colin Firth, Natalie Portman, Christian Bale and Melissa Leo. Done. They’ve won every award so far, why not the Oscar? Truthfully, I feel bad for all the other nominees who have had to sit through countless painful award shows knowing that there is no chance of them winning and having to listen to what’s more or less the same acceptance speech with some small iterations. BORING. The Best Picture/Best Director races are a bit up in the air (GEORGE CLOOOONEY) with Social Network winning all the earlier awards and The Kings Speech heating up as of late. But it promises to be a crazy campaign. The absurdity is that people like to vote for whatever seems to be hot, which means the person who has the most momentum, which means the person with the best PR department who can convince the masses that it’s their year (ie. last year was TOTALLY SANDRA BULLOCK’S YEAR!) So honestly, take the winners with a grain of salt. The Oscars don’t really matter. No one can tell me that Crash was really the best movie of 2005.

The whole reason the Oscars were invented was to have an awards show that could garner up press and make more money for the films and the film industry. That’s still what it’s for. Do you think anyone would have seen The King’s Speech if it had not been touted as an “award winner?” The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences makes a lot of money from the telecast, and the higher its ratings the more money it will make. They expanded the Best Picture category from 5 to 10 so they could include not just the good small films, but the films that were popular and thus would get more people to watch the show. That’s why a manipulative, feel-good, sentimental B movie, which happened to make like $250 million, like The Blind Side, will get nominated for Best Picture. THEREFORE–Oscars are a little about rewarding great art but a lot about money.  Also why they brought in two handsome actors to host the show this year as opposed to the standard funny comedians who spend the evening telling inside jokes.

Assorted Thoughts of This Years Awards Crop:

1- I don’t know what Best Picture means. Does it mean the most important film? The one that people will look back and remember 50 years from now? The one with the best overall writing, directing, acting etc. etc? I don’t know, but taking all those intangibles in mind I really hope The Social Network wins Best Picture. Not only is it a great story with a great script, direction, acting etc, but it’s the film this year that I was the most excited about. The one I had to see opening night (I was more excited about this than Inception. For reals). It didn’t disappoint as it was the most exciting, suspenseful movie of the year, even though I knew the ending beforehand. I know I’m biased because I’m of the Facebook generation, but I really think this movie hit on a lot of today’s cultural nerve. How often do we feel that movies are relevant anymore?

THE FOLLOWING IS MORE OF WHY I LOVE THE SOCIAL NETWORK, TAKEN FROM AN EMAIL I WROTE TO READER DANIEL “PATTON OSWALT IS THE GUY” ARKIN:

I feel like The Social Network is the first all around solid, classic “movie” we’ve seen in a while. It’s not a period piece, so it didn’t rely on that bullshit, it’s not a “action movie” so it didn’t rely on that bullshit, it’s not a war movie, or a quirky love story, so it didn’t rely on that. It’s not an “underdog story” so it didn’t rely on that. No father/son family drama bullshit either.  It was almost devoid of all “award winning movie” cliches which is so awesome. (Except for the writing equations on a window scene.) Just an awesome script with clear characters, motivations, interesting plots, no clear cut hero or villain. And its not an “indie movie.” Its a big studio movie with a great story. It reminds me of like dustin hoffman movies from the 70s (Like All The President’s Men or something). Just a great movie with great actors/directors/writing.

I’m going to add to this that I hope TSN wins because Hollywood just doesn’t make movies like this anymore. They make tiny budgeted indies or huge blockbusters. No in between. Those options provide the least amount of risk. If you’re going to spend $60 million, why not spend $150 million and make it a can’t miss product-based movie (ie. GI Joe)? Or why spend $60 million if you can spend $15 million and gross the same amount at the Box Office? Every year a small-budget, British cast, period piece like The Kings Speech comes out. I hope The Social Network proved that you can make a successful (in both prestige and $) medium budget movie if you have in place a great writer and director. 

2. It’s so hard to choose between best performances. Would you watch Colin Firth wedged between two boulders for 2 hours? I wouldn’t either, and I don’t think he would be able to pull it off. So why is his performance better? I dont know. It was good. Very good. But with all of these films you are comparing apples and oranges.

3. And besides, the only awards show that really matters is the Kids Choice Awards. Where kids rule!

Enough Oscar Talk. I’m sorry if you didn’t care about any of this. I’ll try and make it up to you with some Glee-derived humor.

Will Schuester is best-known as the musical director of Nude Erections. Excuse me, I mean New Directions. For reasons simultaneously altruistic and creepy (see screencap–right), this–that is, being a glee director–is his passion. Yet Will Scheuster only became the director a year ago. He had been a teacher long before that. What kind of teacher? A Spanish teacher. Which leads me to ask a few questions. 1. If this Will Scheuster character loves being a glee director so much, why did he wait 10 years into his career to start? If singing was his favorite part of high school and the reason the pilot gives for him wanting to become a teacher, then why has he been teaching Spanish? Clearly a man as passionate as Will would only do what he was passionate about, which leads me to think that he must be also have been passionate about Spanish. If this is true, then why haven’t we seen any Spanish or Latino culture permeate through Nude Erections? Why isn’t Santana the lead singer? Why aren’t they singing any Santana? Why does it seem like Will barely even knows Spanish? But there’s more. If Will loves being a teacher simply because he can give advice to students, then was he mentoring kids before? Did he just ditch these other kids when he heard Finn knocked up Quinn? How is he such a good singer/dancer if those skills in him had been lying dormant for 10 years? What was Will doing from ages 21-31? I need to know. If you have any ideas (I’m looking at you CARA) the please let me know.

While these questions are certainly perplexing, they are minuscule in comparison the the ones brought up by the following facebook ad that came up on my page:  “Click ‘Like’ and catch an exclusive, free Matthew Morrison show on 1/29, the first of his solo career, brought to you by Oscar Mayer!”

First I laughed. Then I thought. Then I laughed some more. TOO….MANY….JOKES. Here are some of them:

1- Let’s get a wiener to sell our wieners! or Let’s find the biggest wiener on television…

2-Clearly Matthew Morrison is compensating for something.

3-The same kids who’s parents don’t have time to pack them lunches and therefore have to give them lunchables are the same ones who find solace from their miserable lives in GLEE!

4- Way to pander to the gay market Oscar Mayer.

5- Matthew Morrison loves wieners.

6- Matthew Morrison’s acting is really bologna.

7- Is Glee a Wiener-mobile?

Can you think of more?

Until Tomorrow—

Day 54-If Philosopher Martin Buber’s daughter married Justin Bieber and wanted to keep her name, her name would be Eva Buber-Bieber

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Hello again. I was just reading that Willow Smith, Will and Jada Smith’s 9 year old daughter just signed a record deal with Jay-Z (or Uncle Shawn as she probably calls him). This lead me to think of a hypothetical DINNER AT THE SMITH HOUSE:

Will: Ha-HA! Yo Jaden! Willow! Dinner’s ready!

Jaden: Comin pops!

Willow: One sec!

Jada: Honey! You’ve whipped your hair back and forth enough times. Come down to dinner!

Willow: (pause) Yes mom.

(Willow and Jaden join their parents at a huge table with lots of delicious food on it)

Will: Oh! It’s 6! (Turns on the TV)

(TV: Well this is a story all about how, my life got flipped turned upside down…)

Jaden: Dad, we’ve already seen this one!

Willow: Yea Dad we’ve seen all of them!

Jada: The kids are right Will. Maybe just turn it down.

Will: Alright….wait hold on! This part is HILARIOUS!

(TV: Uncle Phil: Geoffrey, bring me my tools.

Geoffrey: Do you mean your knife and fork, sir? Canned laughter)

Will: HAHAHAHA! Oh man! G is hilarious!

Jada: Will!

Will: Alright! Alright! I’ll turn it down.

Jada: And Will?

Will: What NOW?

Jada: Take off the sunglasses.

Will: But I make this look good!

Jada: We’re having a family dinner!

Will: (resignedly takes them off) Ok.

Jada: Alright kids first thing’s first. Jaden, your box-office numbers came in today.

(Jaden trembles)

Jada: $55 million! On opening weekend! Honey! Your father and I are so proud of you!

Jaden: Thanks mom!

Will: And son, that was a great movie! When Jackie Chan came in with you know, with the karate, and then, you know with the flashy thing…I was like OH HELL NO!

Jada: We really would have been fine with $20 million, but since you performed so well in the red states, your marketability hit 3 out of the 4 quadrants, and your audience Cinemascore rating was a 8.7—YOU get to eat first.

Jaden: YES!

(Jaden begins devouring his meal)

Jada: And YOU, young lady. Did you post your new song, “Whip My Hair,” on Youtube?

Willow: Yes mom. This morning.

Jada: And how many hits has it gotten since?

Willow: 100,000 mom.

Jada: A hundred thou- (pause) A hundred thou! Will what you think of this?

Will: Hey Jada, you know my attitude is don’t START nothing, won’t BE nothing.

Jada: Your father’s right. It’s a start. You can have your dinner.

(Willow voraciously begins eating)

Jada: And Willow–I have a surprise for you.

Will: (Looking at himself on TV) Hey, yo Jada! Check out that hat I’m wearing! I’ve GOT to get me one of these!

Jada: (rolls her eyes) Willow! I just spoke with Uncle Shawn, and he told me he was going to sign you to a record contract! 3 albums! Concert tours! You’re gonna be on the radio! MTV! Just like your father was.

Willow: (still eating)

Jada: I said…Isn’t that great!

Willow: Yes mom!

Jada: Damn right yes mom. We’re the Smiths dammit. (Looking over at Willow eating) Will–why don’t Willow seem excited! (Nudges Will to say something)

Will: (Looks at Jada. She’s serious. Will turns into “Dad mode.”) Willow….honey. (Willow looks over) Willow you got a dream… You gotta protect it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.

Willow: (smiles) Ok Dad!

Jada: There you go baby! Now enjoy your food.

(Jada looks at her wine glass. It’s empty)

Jada: Will you LOOK at that. Empty again. AL!

(Alfonso Riberio (Carlton) dressed in a tux hurries into the dining room)

Alfonso: Yes ma’am.

Jada: Does my glass look empty to you?

Alfonso: Yes ma’am it does.

Jada: Can you do something to FIX. IT.

Alfonso: Of course ma’am!

(Rushes back into the kitchen, comes back out with a bottle of wine. Refills Jada’s glass)

Jada: That’s better. Thank you Carlton.

Alfonso: (pause. He clearly hates when she calls him that). Yes ma’am. Anything else I can get for you?

Jaden: Do the Carlton!

Willow: Yea! DO IT!

Alfonso: Actually I tweaked my back recently…

Jaden: Mom! Make Al do the Carlton!

Jada: Al….My baby wants to see you do the Carlton.

Alfonso: (pause) Yes ma’am.

(Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual” plays on the speakers as Alfonso Ribeiro dances “The Carlton.” The kids laugh and cheer. Jada is smiling.)

Will: This part of my life. This part right here. This is called happyness.

AND SCENE.

ONE LAST FUNNY STORY: A couple weeks ago my dad and I were watching Glee with my little sister. (Like how I did that–add my little sister in like its an excuse for us watching the show). The group was performing in sectionals (or was it regionals? Its too complicated) and the announcer in the concert hall says, “AND NOW…..NEW DIRECTIONS!” And my dad goes “WHAT!” I said, “What’s wrong?” and my dad says, “Did they just say what I think they said?” and I said, “What did you think they said?” And he whispers to me–“Did they just say Nude Erections?” Then I started laughing very hard. Because that’s what it sounds like!

I hope you think of this every single time you watch Glee in the future.

Until Tomorrow—

Day 48- "Knight and Day" is One of the Stupidest Titles I’ve Ever Heard

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Since it debuted last year after the season finale of American Idol, GLEE has become a cultural phenomenon. People seem to love the cast, the music (which is hitting the tops of the iTunes charts), the tone, the stories and all of that hullabullo. I myself must admit that I do indeed enjoy the show from time to time. (FALSE. I never miss an episode on Hulu.) But as much as I love the beautifully Semitic Lea Michele and outrageously hilarious Jane Lynch, I do have a few petty gripes about the show.

1. The actors who play Finn and Puck are 27 years old! The actor who plays the Will Schuester, the teacher, is 31! True, both “high schoolersdont exactly look 27, but now that I know they are, it just is a bit weird for me. I wonder how old the actresses are…(Yea–the guy in the picture looks 16!)

2. Will Schuester tears up more than middle schoolers do at their last school dance. I feel like he cries in every episode! In the pilot he cries when he finds out his bitch wife is pregnant and when the kids sing “Dont Stop Believing.” I think Will cries in episode 3, when he finds out his dad is going to law school. He cries in another episode when he sees the fake sonogram of his fake baby. He cries when his kids do nice things with wheelchairs. He cries when he finds out his wife has been lying to him, he cries when he realizes that the teacher he has a crush on is getting married, and he cries when he hears the kids sing at sectionals over the phone. He cries when he ties his shoes. He cries when he has to make a number 2. The dude is one big crying pussy. As my friend Joseph “loves to go mountain climbing in the terrorist infested Sinai Desert” Rosenberg says way too often, “MAN UP!” Stop crying all the time. It cheapens real emotional moments if he cries every damn time something happens to him!

3. Terri Schuester. Will’s wife. She’s just plain annoying. You hate her from the first episode and never realize why Will is still with her. Luckily, it seems as if she’s out of the picture a bit more.

4. Everything Mercedes Jones says is cliched “sassy black woman” speak. For example:
“Oh, HELL to the naw! Look, I’m not down with this background singing nonsense! I’m Beyoncé, I ain’t no Kelly Rowland.”
“Why do we need to go all vanilla on this song? What we need is my chocolate thunder.”

I feel like Mercedes’ only defining characteristics are that she is sassy, and proud to be black. There was one episode where her character was given a bit more depth (the one where she wants to date Kurt), but that storyline was used more as a plot device to help Kurt come out. All I’m saying is, give the sistah* more to do and say!
*J.Wizzle, as the “Ehollywood Nonsense Race Expert, maybe you have more to say on the subject…?

5. I dont think Puck is a great actor, and there’s too much baby mama drama. Hopefully that will all end soon.

THAT’S ENOUGH ABOUT GLEE. I’m going to switch gears now to do something I was thinking about today.

BEST OF LISTS
Here are some of my TV Best Ofs.

Best Sitcom of All Time- Seinfeld
– Perfect storytelling and timeless.

Best Animated Sitcom of All Time- The Simpsons
– Set the bar. And continued to raise it.

Funniest Show of All Time- Arrested Development
– Also the most brilliant.

Funniest Kids Show of All Time- Animaniacs!
– I’ve written about this before.

Weirdest Kids Show of All Time- Weinerville
– What isn’t weird about giant heads in tiny bodies?

Best Show about Presidents of All Time- The West Wing
– The theme music seals the deal for me.

Best Show from Australia- Summer Heights High
– Puck you Miss!

Best Comedy Series That Only Lasted One Season- Stella
– Modern day Marx Brothers shorts

Best Drama Series Set in an Office- The West Wing
– I love me some Jedediah Bartlett

Best Comedy Series Set in an Office- The Office (UK)
– I have to choose this over the US version because it came first.

Best US Version of a British Comedy Series- The Office (US)
– There you go.

Biggest Impact of a Show With A Short Lifespan- The O.C.
– Think about it, it is responsible for Laguna Beach, all the Real Housewives Shows, Gossip Girl, and the entire ABC Family lineup. It reinvented or perhaps reinvigorated the prime time soap opera by involving hot, rich teenagers.

TV Show that Launched the Career of the Biggest Star- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
– I was tempted to say E.R., but Up in the Air did not make $70 million opening weekend.

Best Series Taking Place in the 1960s- Mad Men
– Runner Up: The Brady Bunch

Best IMPROV TV Show- Whose Line is it Anyway?
– Half of America had never heard of improv until this show

Guy who felt the worst when another TV succeeded- Jamie Kennedy
– Seeing Punk’d become a cultural phenomenon, after his own hidden camera show, “The Jamie Kennedy Experiment” bombed, must have SUCKED.

Best Dan Schneider (look him up–he created all of Nickelodeon’s shows and their spinoffs) Show- All That!

Best Sketch Comedy Show of All Time- SNL
– Name me another sketch comedy show that’s lasted 35 years

Best TV Theme Song of Al Time- Growing Pains
– There are so many good ones, but for me, this one sticks.

NOW SOME WORSTS!

Worst Game Show Involving Suitcases- Deal or No Deal
– SIDE BAR ANECDOTE. An episode of Deal or No Deal was on at the gym (YEA, I GO TO THE GYM! SO WHAT?) and it was a college edition. When I tuned in, the dude picking the suitcases had 4 left: $5, $10, $50, $50,000. He picks a case–it’s the $50,0000 one. He’s then given a deal for $25. He says no deal. He picks another case. It’s the $50 one. He’s given a deal now for $7.50!!! No deal! He picks another case! $10! So he’s left with his own suitcase worth $5. It was the least amount of money I’ve ever seen anyone win on any game show ever! Hilarious!

Worst IMPROV TV Show- Wild N’Out
– Nick Cannon is to comedy what Mariah Carey is to comedy

Worst Premise for a TV Show- My Mother The Car
– The guy’s mother was reincarnated as a talking car!

Worst Spinoff– Joanie Loves Chachi
– I love Joanie. I love Chachi. I dont like Joanie Loves Chachi.

Show that Most Definitely Was Racist- Homeboys from Outer Space
– This was a real show. It starred the guy from “One on One” (Flex Alexander). I think the NAACP staged an intervention.

Worst Lead Actress on a TV Show- Fran Drescher
– I dont want to talk about it.

Alright. I’m spent. I’m sure there are a lot more I could write about, but I’m tired and I want spaghetti. So…

Until Tomorrow—

PS. How do you pronounce Ke$ha’s name?
PPS. Agree OR disagree with my bests/worsts? Comment!

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