Archive for October, 2008

Day 34- Gimme Gimmme More, Gimme More, Gimme Gimme More


I’m truly sorry I have not been posting as often as I should. I have been so busy lately so please forgive me!!!!

One of the reasons I was busy is because this past weekend I was in Chicago watching a lot of improv. Some highlights include:

  • Lyndsay Hailey of the Deltones
  • Watching “Radical Concept Improv”

Lyndsay Hailey is a cast performer in the Deltones, which is a musical-improv team at Improv Olympic. She has been a cast member there for at least a year (cause I saw her there last year) and she is one of the most phenomenally talented, hilarious improvisers I have ever seen. Mark my words, she will get on MadTV or SNL one day and be the next Kristen Wiig. She is also extremely gorgeous. So if you ever go to Chicago, see her shows. And if you are a talent scout or manager, I’d sign her right away!!

Radical Concept Improv is a show at IO on Saturday nights at Midnight where teams do improv in weird ways. This past week, 15 improvisers performed long form improv as senior citizens from Shady Maples Retirement Home. It was HILARIOUS. They were so committed and stayed in character the entire time. One of the highlights was one performer, the incomporable Peter Robbards (KARL and Suspicious of Whistler Alumn), who was in a wheelchair and kept being pushed into scenes, forcing him to justify his presence. Good fun.

If you are ever in Chicago–check out these two shows!

OK–now that that’s out of the way I have something to say.
Rarely do external factors (ie. movies, television, the news) severely effect my mood. If I see a sad movie, it might stay with me for a little while immediately afterwards, and then dissipate. If I see a funny episode of the Office, chances are I wont be thinking about it the next day. Only 2 external factors that I have no control over really effect my moods and give me trouble sleeping:
1- The Lakers
2- Harry Potter books.
When something happens with the Lakers, whether a win, a loss, a trade rumor, a free agency looming etc, I cant stop thinking about it. The night Shaq was traded to Miami, I remember I was in Israel. I found out about it the night before I was supposed to wake up at 3 AM to take 2 hour bus ride to hike up to Masada. As tired as I was, I did not sleep the ENTIRE NIGHT. Not in my bed, not on the bus, not on the bus ride back, not in the afternoon, not the ENTIRE DAY. At every hour, all I was thinking about were the implications of this trade: Who is going to start? Is Kobe going to leave too? Is Brian Grant worth $55 million dollars? Is he worth more dead or alive? Why didnt we at least get D-Wade? What is Shaq going to do in Miami? Is Lamar Odom going to come back to LA and immediately start smoking weed again? Is he going to sell weed to the whole team? Are the entire Lakers going to be stoned on opening day? (PS. To this day, that picture still makes me want to cry)
Last year, when Kobe said he wanted to be traded during training camp-my heart was about to explode. No joke. I couldnt concentrate on my homework, I couldnt sleep, I couldnt eat. All I could do was check every 10 seconds for an update. In the immortal words of Charlie Brown—AAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

When I read a Harry Potter book for the first time, I cant sleep because the book is so damn engrossing. If I am forced to put it down for say a meal, or a bathroom break, I cannot think about anything else. What’s Harry going to do? Does Hermione really like that Victor Krum? Does Dumbledore really know what’s up? Are there such things as wizards condoms? Thats why I now read Harry Potter books all in one sitting.


I can now add one more thing to this list. MAD MEN. The 2008 Emmy Award Winner for Best Drama and Best Writing. That show is so damn engrossing, fascinating, and thought prevoking that I simply cannot get through my day without thinking about it at least fifteen times. I IMPLORE YOU to start watching this show. I swear on Mark Wahlberg’s mother that it will be the best decision you will ever make.

Since this blog is supposed to be about nonsense, and not neccessarily movie/TV reviews, I will invite readers who want to increase their understanding of MAD MEN and other great shows to check out www.MEDIAMAVENMUSINGS.COM. This website is informative, well-written and really helps expand your knowledge and comprehension of quality entertainment.

Whatever happened to Brittany Murphy? She had a quality career as a teenage appearing on several TV shows including Sister, Sister, Almost Home (oh Chuckie Lee Torkelson, how you do amuse me and dare I say…the world), Blossom, Party of Five etc. Then she successfully made the transition into movies with her immortal role as Taj in “Clueless” (1995). After some small roles she broke out again in “Dont Say A Word,” (2001) giving her her own catchphrase, “ILL NEVER TELLLL” and MTV Movie Award. She was a young star on the rise. She got starring roles in “8 Mile” (lose yourself in the music….) and “Just Married” (co-starring her boyfriend, a young punk named Kutch). She even got top billing the films “Uptown Girls” (not as good as the song) and “Little Black Book” which came out in 2004 (and for which she got paid $4 Million for! That’s a lot for a woman in Hollywood whos not Cameron, Reese or Julia).

Then she all but dissapeared. She had a small role in “Sin City” and “The Groomsmen” (good ol’ Eddie Burns), but now–POOF. Gone. She even was supposed to be the voice of Tinkerbell in the new Disney straight to DVD movie, Tinkerbell. But she lost that role to—you’ll never guess—MAE WHITMAN (better known as ANN VEAL from ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT). I know what you’re thinking–Her? YES. Her.

She’s doing some small projects now, but what gives? I know she’s had some trouble with her boyfriends/finances in the past, but what happened to her career? She had so much promise. She was attractive (Made lots of “Sexiest Women Alive” lists in her heyday), spunky, creepy, white trash and girl next door. She could sing, and women seemed to really like her. Those movies she headlined also didnt do particularly poorly at the Box Office. Did Hollywood decide that she just wasnt bankable? I dont have an answer, other than to say that her agent must really suck. Sorry Brittany. I dont particularly care for you, but I hope you find your career again. If Kate Hudson can keep making shitty chick flicks (Fool’s Gold, My Best Friend’s Girl, Raising Helen) then why cant you?

Until Tomorrow–

Day 33- My name is Sarah Palin and I want to give a shout out to all my girls from WASILLA! You guys rock! GO TRL! CARSON I LOVE YOU!


I was watching Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on TV the other day and it occurred to me: there are hundreds of thousands of children in the world who read the books and see the movies thinking, “I wanna be Harry Potter! He’s so brave!” “I want to be Ron Weasley, or George or Fred! (well maybe not Fred…)” “I want to be Hermione! She’s smart and beautiful and she kicks ass!”

These children are stupid! Why would you want to be Harry Potter! Why would you want to have the baggage of the entire wizarding universe on your shoulders? Why would you want to constantly be afraid that everyone you know is going to die? Why would you want a direct connection to the dark lord? And for that matter, why would you want to be Ron or Hermione, or anyone remotely connected to Harry Potter?! Why would you want to constantly be afraid that because you’re friends with the boy who lived, the most powerfully evil wizard to ever walk the Earth us going to KILL YOU? Why would you want all of that resting on your shoulders as a 15 year old? It doesnt make sense.

You know who I want to be? A wizard kid. Thats it. Like Dean Thomas who does color commentary (no pun intended) for the Quidditch games. Or one of those kids on the left. I want to be just a normal kid who happens to be a wizard, and goes to Hogwarts and does cool magic. I want my biggest worry to be about my O.W.L.S, not “HOW DO I SAVE THE ENTIRE WIZARDING COMMUNITY and DEFEAT THE MOST POWERFUL WIZARD OF ALL TIME with ONLY 6 YEARS OF PRACTICE?!” I want to be one of the wizard kids in the background, hanging out in the school yard while Harry and Hermione discuss how to break into the Ministry of Magic. I want to cry about Cedric Diggory, and then MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. You know what I would do? I would stay the FUCK AWAY from Harry Potter! That’s what I would do.

You might be saying: Yeah, but Harry and Ron and Hermione are the closest friends ever! Dont you want that kind of friendship?

Eh. I’m sure there are cool guys to hang out with at Hogwarts who dont carry around more baggage than Paris Hilton’s butler (the joke is that she has a lot of clothes which she has to carry in many suitcases). And the truth is, if I didnt have many friends in the wizarding world, I’m sure there are some Muggles who would want to get to know the kid who can conjure up charm spells that can make them look old enough to buy alcohol. And when its all said and done, JK implies that Harry works in the Ministry of Magic. If I really wanted to I could get a job there too! Only when I worked there, I wouldnt be haunted by memories of my parents, godfather, friends and teachers getting murdered. In conclusion, why be Harry when you can be Duncan Inglebee – Ravenclaw’s Quidditch Beater whose most significant school memory was getting a hummer from Lisa Turpin in the Room of Requirement right after the Yule Ball in my 4th year. Oh yea, and I’d have my parents.


1- Remember a while ago I wrote about Tim Matheson and Rob Lowe being the same person? Well this week on Entourage, Tim Matheson played a Hollywood Studio Exec. You know who played an agent–a similarly powerful Hollywood player? ROB LOWE in Thank You for Smoking! Give Rob 15 years and he too can be on Entourage playing an Exec.

Thats another funny thought—Entourage in 15 years! What’s Turtle like in 15 years? How fat can that motherfucker get? He’s probably still smoking weed. And Drama? What’s that dude doing in his 50s? I have no idea. Not acting, thats for sure. Vince–it depends how gracefully he ages. He probably can still act–hopefully be more of a Richard Gere. TruthfullyI doubt it though. He’s probably gone back to Mexico. Ari’s probably an executive at this point, the stress being too much for an agent. The only one in the “crew” who’s actually going to be still going strong–E.

2- I was in the bathroom today watching an episode of The Sarah Silverman Program on my iPod and guess who I saw? JON “DON DRAPER” HAMM! He was on for 6 seconds playing a CABLE GUY installing cable for Sarah! He asks her for a kiss and she rejects it! Idiot!

I also just read an article about him that said that he grew up in ST LOUIS (right around Wash U woo woo!) and in college, besides acting all he was thinking about was getting hammered and laid. Wow Jon. You’re awesome. It also said he used to work on soft core porn sets doing set dressing.
Wow Jon. Not so awesome.

Until Tomorrow—

Go to Top