Archive for August, 2010

Day 53- One more than the B-52s



Thanks to a heavenly patron (my bestest friend Solly) I finally have a web address to call my own! No more blogspot! (Although it had been very good to me). This way I have more control over the themes, layout etc and I don’t answer to anyone BUT myself. And the site address looks more professional. I’m still working out the kinks of WordPress though (my new “host”) so bear with me. Otherwise enjoy, put this link on your dashboard, favorite it, and tell all your friends. EHOLLYWOOD NONSENSE.COM IS WHERE IT’S AT!

Let us first discuss the Emmys:

That opening number was killer.

I was mostly happy with the Emmy wins from last night. Everyone who won deserved to win, however I want to single out a few selections worthy of praise:

Curb Your Enthusiasm never gets enough recognition. it is HILARIOUS! Maybe not as heartwarming as Modern Family, but as far as “situational comedies” go, Curb has more funny situations than any show on television. Hands down. Larry David is a genius, and I know he’s respected and has made over $300 million off of Seinfeld, but still–Curb should get some Emmy love. It’s won nothing except “Best Direction for a Comedy” in 2003! That’s a shande! (Which in Yiddish means its a disgrace)!

I LOVE MAD MEN. It’s a phenomenal show, and certainly deserving of “Best Drama.” However, AMC’s OTHER show, “Breaking Bad” is also an unbelievable show. For those of you who don’t know, Breaking Bad is basically about a high school chemistry teacher who is stricken with cancer and resorts to cooking crystal meth to make money to provide for his family. If terms of sheer drama, meaning moments are dramatic, the stakes are high, the suspense is unbearable, and events unfold in interesting, unpredictable ways–Breaking Bad is unparalleled. The scope of the show is much smaller than Mad Men, and revolves around fewer characters, but the intensity is much higher and what happens to each character in each episode is much more important on Breaking Bad than it is on Mad Men. Breaking Bad has the added “24” element of a ticking clock (Walt has cancer), which means that the pressure for Walter to achieve what he needs to achieve is a lot higher. This isn’t to say that Mad Men isn’t dramatic, it is, but the drama is much more subtle and nuanced. Peggy making a slight glance at Pete is a HUGE deal on Mad Men, whereas Breaking Bad’s most dramatic moments typically involve guns, drugs or the DEA. I just watched episode 7 of Season 3 of BB, and almost had a heart attack it was so intense.

The most recent seasons of both shows have done a successful and fascinating job of exploring who their main characters are at their cores–when everything that they thought was important to them disappears and when there is no reason to inhabit the role they used to inhabit, who really are these two men? If the societal shackles of “family” and “career” were lifted off of them, what would they do? Would they fight to get them back, would they choose another life entirely? When everything they’d worked for in life suddenly slips away, what do they hold onto? When the ends no longer justify the means, do they create new means, or new ends? These are just some of the questions posed in season 3 of Breaking Bad, and the ongoing season 4 of Mad Men.

The Emmys rewarded Bryan Cranston over Jon Hamm for Best Actor the past 3 years, and it’s deserved–Bryan Cranston is an entirely brilliant actor who does amazing work on Breaking Bad, and his character–Walter White, has experienced much greater character metamorphosis over the years than Don Draper. But Jon Hamm and Michael C. Hall (Dexter) also do exceptional work on their shows (Jon Hamm is a master of subtle expression) and are deserving of praise as well. It’s hard to just vote for ONE Best Actor, which is a problem with this awards system and culture in Hollywood as well.

In short–you should watch both Mad Men, AND Breaking Bad. I’ve praised Mad Men before, and TRUST ME, Breaking Bad is REALLY worth your time.

QUICK THOUGHTS: Mad Men’s January Jones came to the Emmys with SNL’s Jason Sudeikis as her date. This is not entirely surprising as Mad Men’s Elisabeth Moss was shortly married to SNL’s Fred Armisen. But it is surprising because you typically don’t see SNL comedians dating women as gorgeous as JJ. Which brings me to my next point–Jason Sudeikis isn’t funny. I never really liked him on SNL. He’s a poor man’s Phil Hartman. He’s a straight man who can play dad and other older roles, but he doesn’t do great impressions, he doesn’t have great characters (The A-Holes just annoy me), and to me it always seems like he’s trying to be funny. Like he can’t WAIT to land the punchline. That bugs me. He doesn’t ruin scenes like Jimmy Fallon did, and he isn’t as big of a ham as Casey Wilson, but If he left the show right now I wouldn’t care.

  • Jim Parsons won an Emmy for the BIG BANG THEORY. Good for him. Who watches that show though? It has so many viewers but I don’t know a single person who watches that show? If you do, please let me know and tell me why.
  • Good for Eric Stonestreet for winning for Modern Family. Ty Burrell could have won too. But it’s also a shande that Rainn Wilson has never won for Dwight. Jeremy Piven won 3 years in a row! It’s ridiculous.
  • Steve Carell better win next year. It’s similarly ridiculous that Tony Shaloub has won like 3 times, but Steve has gone 0-6. One more for his last year!

Let me talk for a minute about Entourage. I have said a lot of trash about Entourage in the past, but it’s actually very good this season! I would say its the best season since season 4. Vince actually has personal issues! There is wait for it…CONFLICT! And Ari’s story is a story that could actually happen to anyone in Hollywood. What happens when all the terrible things a huge asshole says are suddenly in print? How humiliated is his family? Is it true that he can get away with everything because he has power, or is it true what Chris Rock says, that in fact, the more powerful you are, the less you can say. That is a homeless man on the street can say whatever racist bullshit he wants but if a senator even makes the slightest comment that can be viewed as racist, is his career over? Ari has said the most vulgar disgusting things to his co-workers over the years, but now his actions and words finally have consequences. Turtle is still inexplicably with a hot girl, Drama is still looking for work, and E is still pretty boring, but you can’t win them all. So overall, I’d give the season so far a happy B :) By the way who is the worse actor–Mark Cuban, Chris Bosh or Kevin Love?

Last bit I PROMISE! So I’ve watched every season of Weeds. I don’t know why. I enjoyed the first two seasons, but everything since has been pretty bizarre television. What other show has had their entire premise/location scrapped and changed? None that I can think of. While this is kind of a cool idea, the execution has been unsuccessful. The characters and the charm of the show left with actors Romany Malco and Elizabeth Perkins and the increasingly less screen time with Kevin Nealon. But this season it appears that some of that old premise might return. Suburban mom deals pot. Maybe the show can finally get back on track. And there is also a goal for Nancy and her brood–don’t get caught. Fleeing builds drama. And at least we still have Andy. The only big problem with the show in my mind is that Nancy is so selfish, crazy and obnoxious that it is hard to root for her. Hopefully Nancy will grow to be less detestable this season. Don Draper is selfish and at times a bastard, but I still root for him. Jenji Kohan (Weeds creator), please give us a reason to root for Nancy!

I realize that this particular post was more analysis than funniness. That’s ok. Next one will be more funny.

That’s all I got for now….except GO SEE SCOTT PILGRIM! It was a truly awesome movie different from anything you’ve ever seen.

Until Tomorrow—

DAY 52- One for every week of the year. Also the Atomic Number of Tellurium! Bet you forgot that.



Have you seen the new trailer for YOGI BEAR? I have! It looks terrible!
I really liked the choice of Dan Aykroyd for Yogi Bear (just as I think Bill Murray as Garfield was an inspired choice), however Justin Timberlake as Boo-Boo is stunt casting if I’ve ever heard it. (I guess you can’t really make the argument that Americans were waiting for Dan Aykroyd and J-Tizzle to really GO AT IT with each other…but still.) Justin Timberlake’s Boo Boo voice is just Justin with a high pitch whine. Every time Boo Boo has a line I think, “Hey Justin Timberlake’s in this movie.” (Truth be told though, every time I see Justin Timberlake anywhere I think–“Hey! There’s Justin Timberlake.”)

Also, I’m not a tech nerd, but the CGI just looks terrible. The other bummer is that Anna Faris is in this movie. She has such a promising career! I don’t know why she would lower herself to this “Alvin and the Chipmunks” ripoff garbage. (I mean…I do know–$$$!)

**Sidenote— Since Alvin and the Chipmunks came out a few Decembers ago and made like $200 million, every old cartoon is being converted into a CGI movie. The Smurfs Movie is coming out soon, starring Neil Patrick Harris. There is also a Speedy Gonzales Movie starring George Lopez, a He-Man Master of the Universe Movie and a Thundercats movie all in the works. Not to mention past movies like Speed Racer and Underdog. The hope is that teens/adults who remember these cartoons will take their kids to see the movies, thus appealing to 2 or 3 of the 4 crucial demographics (those being: MEN, WOMEN, Kids, Older Folks). The only problem is–a lot of those cartoons werent good, and were not meant to have characters sustained for over 10 minutes. For example, Speedy Gonzales is funny for 5 minutes. I can’t imagine watching him for 90. Hollywood–stop turning fine cartoons into shitty movies!

BUT BACK TO YOGI BEAR–What good is having this movie in 3D? (I know I know! $) but still! Unless Yogi can actually steal the popcorn on my lap, there is nothing that 3D can help this movie “achieve.” I think in some cases 3D will end up hurting the movie more than helping it, like with Cats and Dogs 2 in 3D which came out this past weekend. Parents aren’t going to be willing to shell out 18 bucks for a real shitty movie. 12 bucks maybe, but not 18.

The Social Network- You’ve probably already seen the trailer for this movie, but if you haven’t you should watch it now! It looks awesome, which I’m sure the movie will be, considering it’s directed by David Fincher (Se7en, Fight Club, Zodiac) and written by Aaron Sorkin (A Few Good Men, The West Wing). The acapella use of the song “Creep” against backgrounds of facebook’s features really gets the audience uncomfortably thinking about their own facebook use. The trailer is also interestingly and intensely cut.

A few years ago, Aaron Sorkin started a facebook group so he could find out more about facebook from the inside. This was a while ago, before your mom and your seven year old sister could sign up. So I appreciate that he did his research. But this movie isn’t going to be about where “poking” comes from. It’s a drama about friendship and business and trust and money and relationships. The intriguing part is that the backdrop of the movie is obviously a website, nay–an institution that is so integral to our every day lives, but who’s origins are still quite the mystery for most of us. I’m excited for this movie. But this is the last movie I want to see Jesse Eisenberg in, playing a more confident, smarter Michael Cera. Ok Jesse?

1. Paramount signed on to make a 3D Justin Bieber biopic/concert film. To be directed by none other than the director of Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth.” WOT! I’m not even mad that they’re making a Justin Bieber movie, cause honestly, that was to be expected. After all, it’s Justin Bieber’s world now. We’re all just living in it. The sooner we realize that the faster we can get on with our lives. (By the way Usher is smiling in this picture because for every record Bieber sells, Usher makes like $15. Usher owns Bieber. He’s like Strombolli, the evil puppet master who discovers Pinnochio, lets him sing “I’ve Got No Strings” and makes straight up cash money.)

But Mr. Director sir (Davis Guggenheim), who also just directed a documentary about the failure of the public school systems, How can you possibly go from directing movies of the utmost importance and relevance to America and the global community to a CONCERT movie starring a universally disrespected 15 year old pop queen. And no disrespect to concert movies–Martin Scorsese does excellent work with the Rolling Stones. But Mr. Guggenheim, The Rolling Stones Justin Bieber is not.

IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS! (2 days after I began writing this post.) Guggenheim just dropped out of the movie. Darn. That was so close to being the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. The fact that he had legit signed on to do it is still crazy, but in the end, thank God, all this Guggenheim talk is for naught.

*Sidenote–Justin Bieber is really one of the most polarizing figures of today. Spending the summer around kids aged 9-15, I have realized that one either HATES Justin Bieber with a passion and want to rip out his larynx, decapitate him, take out his brain insides, fill it up with Smarties, and turn his head into a Bieber pinata….OR you LOVE JUSTIN BIEBER SO MUCH IT MAKES YOU PUKE! You have to watch BABY 30 times a day, you have pictures of him all over your bed, and you live your life by the Bieber code–just be yourself! There is no middle ground. Kids dont “not give a shit” about Justin Bieber. He’s like the “Inception” of popstars.

Also, Justin Bieber is writing a memoir. Or more like telling a writer funny stories about his first haircut and the first time he was raped by pixies.


As pointed out to me by Daniel “I know Gregory Rollman” Arkin, Universal is developing the film BATTLESHIP, based on the board game, as a starring vehicle for Rihanna. The logline is as follows: “Battleship will unfold as a massive Naval adventure across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force.”


Hollywood is remaking Ahnuld Schwarzenegger’s TOTAL RECALL.

What’s with all the Ahnuld remakes! First Predator, then I hear about a Commando remake! Now this? STOP remaking Arnold movies! They’re not going to get any better. They’re perfect the way they are. Please! Leave AHNULD ALONEEEEE! Abadah.

Thanks for reading!

Until Tomorrow—

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