Emmy Live Blog

You want BIG STARS here at the Emmys? Well first we give you….

Leonard Nimoy! (It was originally supposed to be Alec Baldwin but he dropped out when they were gonna cut a joke he made about Rupert Murdoch). Still–that’s the best they can get?

Jeremy Piven and Lloyd! Horray?

Kevin Nealon? I love Kevin, but he’s not really a star is he?

Big Bang Theory! (Hopefully this is the last time we’ll see them tonight)

Nick Offerman!- The only person I’m happy to see so far!

Mad Men people-Funny bit. It’s been so long since a Mad Men episode, I’ll take anything I can get.

Jane and Jane? That’s a little much.

OVERALL: I’m sorry, but this opening number isn’t really that funny. I can’t even understand the words. I love Jane Lynch, but this still pales in comparison to last year’s opening.

7:08- Monologue- Jon Hamm’s the man. Was there ever a time when Betty White wasn’t old? What a strange collection of “singers”—Really. They went to Wilmer Vallderama? Is he even on television? How did he even get on a “possible emmy presenters” list? Taraji P. Henson? What are you doing here? I know you’re on TV now, but you’re an Oscar nominee for christsakes. Could they really not find another black person? Chuck, I get. Cobie Smulders, I get. Kate Flannery from The Office–great touch. But Joel McHale? C’mon man! You’re a thousand times better than this tomfoolery.

7:12- Two Jimmys. At least they went for it with the fighting.

Outstanding Supporting Actress Comedy:

Should win: Jane Krakowski

Will Win: Betty White

Did Win: Julie Bowen

How do I feel about this? I like Modern Family. She’s my least favorite character. Is that because she’s the “shrew?” Perhaps. She plays her well, and is a good actress for sure. But every one of those other nominees are funnier. She still has a weird ribcage.  Nice that she mentioned Ty Burrell. He’s the man.

7:17- Best supporting actor in comedy. 4 actors in Modern Family.

Should win: Ty Burrell

Will Win: Ty Burrell

Did Win: Ty Burrell.

America loves the Dunphys! He is the man, though. Best comedy dad on TV. I thought he should have won last year. Eric Stonestreet is great too though. Ty’s speech assumes we all know his dad. But it’s endearing.

It’s the Modern Family show! Jane Mentioned it.

Charlie Sheen was pretty fake. I think his agents just told him that if he actually wants to work again he has to play nice. Especially after he burned bridges with every single person in that room. No one wants to see him here though. How can you like Charlie Sheen?

Ricky Gervais: We get it. You’re inappropriate. Stop mugging for the camera. You’re not the funniest person on the planet.

Lead Actor:

Please be Steve Carrell!! Are you serious!? Jim Parsons! Again! Fuck that shit. I will never watch the Emmys again. Boo. Boo. Boo. Bullshit. I call shenanigans! Michael Scott is an icon! I bet every Emmy voter was like, “they expect us to vote for Steve for sentimental reasons, but I bet others will do that. i’ll vote for that fellow that my wife thinks is funny.” No disrespect to Jim Parsons, but Michael Scott is a fully fleshed out, breathing human being and Steve Carell has acted the hell out of every single episode. He will go down in history as one of the best sitcom characters ever, while the Big Bang Theory will soon be be long forgotten (unless i’m forced to flip past it on syndication for the next 10 years).

Sofia Vergara has an amazing figure. As my roommate pointed out, she has a ridiculous hip to waist ratio.  I can’t imagine being a casting director and having her come and audition. I would literally be stunned by her beauty. She’s impossibly gorgeous.

Amy Poehler coming on stage! That’s really funny. I like this bit. Tina Fey really sold it too.

Emmy- Melissa McCarthy. She really won for Bridesmaids. No one watches Mike and Molly. At least I don’t know a single person who does. But she was great in Bridesmaids. Who is that woman they keep cutting to who is crying hard? Funny pageant bit. It’s the sister. Ah. Oh-Steve Carrell is still upset. I would be too. I mean, in the long run Steve is still a millionaire.

jerry bruckheimer is the bastard son of thom yorke and willem Dafoe

Daily Show! Huzzah. 8 Emmys. That’s ridiculous. It still deserves it.

I really enjoyed that bit in The Office. Tracy Morgan was especially funny. Great to see Jesse Pinkman sell drugs to Creed. That was inspired. Hilarious. Ashton Kutcher is too handsome to be funny.

What’s with all those pistachio commercials? Why now?

Has Paul Giamatti ever taken a role that required him to lose weight? #dealbreaker

I still can’t believe snozzberries guy from super troopers is married to Joan (christina hendricks)

They didn’t have time to glue bolton’s moustache on right i guess. That was a pretty quick costume change too.

What’s john stamos doing there? That’s pretty great.

Freak Bill Macy! Love it! Best Emmy moment so far!

Very similar to the Lonley Island medly at the 2009 Movie Awards….but still great. The Lonely Island has come a long fucking way to have basically a medly/tribute to them performed at the EMMYs.

Ian Somerholder? Or Rob Lowe’s son?

It’s pretty cool that Damon Wayans Jr. has 16 of Damon Wayans chromosomes. Lucky him, AMIRITE?

Real Steel could easily be a Brenden Fraser movie.

Margo Martindale is such a classy lady. The Emmys are great for reasons like this. Seeing awesome, veteran character actors get their moment in the sun.

Holy shit Peter Dinklage is actually a little person! I thought he was just acting! (joke)

That guy presenting with Loretta Devine was a thug in Robocop! And Jack Bauer’s brother.

Kyle Chandler is great. He got the sentimental Emmy Steve Carell should have won. Jon Hamm was also robbed. Did you watch The Suitcase?! I think the Academy is sick of giving awards to Mad Men. It’s not “hot” anymore. Too bad, Jon. This was your chance. Bryan Cranston’s gonna win it again next year.

Who are these guys singing Hallejulah in the Memoriam? I’m kinda sick of that song. It’s becoming overplayed. I forgot Sherwood Schwartz died. Motherfucker did Gilligan’s Island AND the Brady Bunch. What a playa.

Is Turtle actually the skinniest member of Entourage? What is he like a 26 waist? And did they just accept an award for Maggie Smith? That’s priceless.

I don’t really care about miniseries….

Does Kate Winslet have an EGOT? (Fact checking…..SO CLOSE. Just needs a Tony. She can get that easy. She won a Grammy for a spoken word children’s book she recorded in 2000–cheeky girl).

Best Drama- MAD MEN. Strange that it didn’t win anything else, but again, I think people are sick of Mad Men a bit, and it’s been off the air for too long. But it was the best drama this year, and its great that it’s 4/4. That’s remarkable. Especially with such great dramas on TV.

Best Comedy- I hope its Parks and Rec but…..MODERN FAMILY. That was expected. People fucking LOVE that show. And they should. It’s very well done. It suits the whole family. It’s well acted, well-written and relateable. And it preaches good values.  But Parks and Rec killed it this year. Ah hell. Good for Modern Family.

Overall a pretty decent show. Jane was fun. The pacing was great. The voice-over guy was the most annoying piece of shit ever and I wanted to strangle him. Steve Carell though, ARGHHH. Very upsetting. Oh well.

metta world PEACE.